Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
