I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I think I just sharted jello shots
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
