So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
