how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
