She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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