so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
