The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You have to summon your inner elephant
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
