dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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