spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
