I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize