I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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