I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
