But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
