That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
