The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
These tits shall not be calmed
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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