The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
