Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
