I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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