elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Randomize
