I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize