If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
