girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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