I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Still dying that you shit outside
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize