I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
