are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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