FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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