but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
