4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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