remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
