Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
