Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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