me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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