im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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