That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
