that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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