what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
