you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
