Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
