she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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