i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize