and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize