The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
