Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
