Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
