next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
