this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
