The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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