I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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