It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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