I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
