Jerry, you need to find god
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
