Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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