You smell like stripper and shame
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
