"it" just moved
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
