last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
