i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
