Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
