I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
