Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
