That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
