he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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