It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
