Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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