Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
