Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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