Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
