So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
