first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
